It’s Wednesday April 1st, the opening night of the London Burlesque Festival – The Glitterati Gala.

I’m sat on a train heading into London, listening to Metallica on my IPod and wondering what tonight will be like. It’s happened so fast; I got the phone call and was asked to cover the night just the day before. Luckily I was free. Will it be busy? Hectic? Calm? Will everything go to plan?

I’m not performing tonight; I’m the glamorous stage maid and assistant to the wonderful stage manager Sean Mooney. The job is much more important than people realise. Without us working behind the scenes there would be no show! We have to make sure that every performer is ready to go, that their music is with the sound guy, that he knows when to start the music and that the lighting cues are right. We also have to set up the props and clear the stage of clothing between every act. Sean also sets up the microphones for the compares and musical acts and does all of the rigging for the aerial acts. It’s a big job and we don’t stop from the minute we get there to when the show ends.

Its 5pm and I arrive on time…just! The Cafe De Paris isn’t easy to find when you’ve never been there before! I find Sean and we discuss the plans for the evening. That was the last time I got a chance to stop until I got into the car to go home at 12.30am!

My first job is to make sure that everyone is in the dressing room backstage and getting ready. Everyone is relaxed and the giggles flow freely. I get a chance to catch up with the lovely Ivy Paige, Ed Wills (who is helping to move the extra large props) and meet my stunning helper for tonight, Miss Trixie Minx from New Orleans (a fast friendship bond is made and we spend the night giggling together like partners in crime!).

I grab a five minute break to get changed. Black corset, jacket, bloomers and a small white maid’s apron. Well, you have to look the part!

Within what feels like seconds it time for the show to start. The band has come off stage, the compares are rehearsing their lines and the girls are ready to go…. It’s show time!

We have just a few moments to clear the stage between acts. Sometimes it’s very tight and I’m almost diving off the stage as the next act comes up the steps! Every prop is placed where it needs to be and every item of discarded clothing is found and picked up. We only have a few hiccups, mostly with the unexpected amounts of glitter, ticker tape and feathers! Luckily I manage to persuade the bar staff to find me a broom as we have no other choice but to sweep it all off the front of the stage, totally covering the press and anyone in the front two rows in the process (sorry if you’re reading this - I was in a rush!). While the acts are on we usually get a chance to watch them, albeit from behind, while we get the props ready and calm the nerves of the next performer.

The whole night goes in a blur of sequins, tassels and camera flashes. I’m sure there will be a few pictures of me bent over with a broom in my hand pushing feathers around! Before I know it, the last act has left the stage and I’m running around the dressing room making sure that everyone’s props and costumes have been returned to them. A few hugs, kisses and shouts of thanks later and I’m bouncing up the stairs on my way home to fall into bed totally shattered!

Fast forward to Friday morning… I get an emergency phone call from Sean. I’m needed again for the Battle Royal – Newcomers Contest at The Scala.

I arrive at 4pm and realise just how big the venue is. It’s a logistical nightmare. The backstage area is tiny so we are using it as a holding room and using the top floor bar as the dressing room. My first job is to check everyone in and make sure that everyone has an ‘access all areas’ wristband. There are over eighty performers on tonight in three categories. Very quickly the area begins to looks like a sequin bomb has gone off! There are a few people I recognise and I get to have a quick catch up with my friend Amber Sweet. There are also a few people that recognise me not only from the previous show and Facebook (It’s great to finally put voices to faces!) but from my recent appearance on BBC3’s Snog, Marry, Avoid and Harry Hill’s TV Burp. It’s a little scary to be honest!

Tonight’s running order has to be kept very tight. In order to do this we decide to take the categories down as a whole to the backstage area before every section of the evening. Backstage is a melting pot of nerves and anticipation, I spend most of my time calming the girls down and reassuring them that the audience are amazing. The comperes tonight are the fantastic Mat Fraser and Lady Alex. I have known Mat for a while and we managed to have a great catch up before the show started. During the show however he’s in ‘kid in a sweet shop’ mode and lots of naughty banter ensues between him, Sean, Ed, Trixie and me. We have a great time and the laughter helps to keep any performance nerves at bay.

The show goes off without a hitch, and as the winners are announced I managed to get changed and spend some quality time with my great friend Tricia Cox (she runs the door and front of house for LBF) and judges Ruby Rose and DJ Suarve. Before I know it the shows over and it’s time to go home. Just as I am ready to leave Sean catches up with me and asks me to come back tomorrow…

 

Tonight is the Jetsetters Ball at Bush Hall.

I arrive at 5pm and everyone is in high spirits. Tonight there are two shows, one after the other. It’s the showcase for international acts. We have performers from as far afield as Australia, Finland, America, France, Amsterdam and erm… Newcastle!

Apart from the odd moment of language barrier confusion, the show goes well. Trixie Minx is performing tonight (she is amazing!) so I am working with Miss Dolly Blow-Up, Ed and Sean tonight. Our compare is the excellent Armitage Shanks. Tonight my job as stage maid takes some unexpected twists… I make my stage debut as a clock and a magician’s assistant! Plus the amazing Warren Speed makes a mad shout out to me during his Chav act (thanks honey!).

The last act of the night is provided by the Slipper Room Revue. A fun group act from New York. Luckily they don’t need me during their show so I get to watch from the wings, getting totally showered in glitter as a blanket gets thrown off stage in my direction!

As I am trying to brush at least some of the glitter off, pack my bag and say good bye to everyone (lots of air kisses, hugs and words of thanks!) I manage to grab 5 minutes to speak to Sean… Guess what… I’m needed again tomorrow!

It’s the last night and we’re back at the Cafe De Paris.

It’s an early start today as we have a lot to get through. It’s the VIP closing show tonight, consisting of a dinner soiree including the Secrets in Lace fashion show, with three performances and the Closing Show itself featuring fifteen of the best international and home grown acts.

I forge ahead with checking people in and getting all of the props ready for the performances. There are some extra complicated set ups for tonight and everyone seems nervous but excited. I also spend some time helping Ruby Rose to set up the make-up room and manage to steal a few moments hiding in there to eat a sandwich!

There are some truly amazing performers tonight, including a Marie Antoinette inspired performance by the wonderful Natsumi Scarlett, Scarletine Delight (great performance, but a maids nightmare - so much to clean up!) and a visually stunning closing aerial performance by Roxy Velvet.

Unfortunately the Fashion Show runs over time, so we spend the rest of the night playing catch up. Tonight’s fabulous team includes Sean, Miss Dolly Blow-Up, Genevieve (who jumped in to help at the last minute!) and me. Luckily we manage to work extra hard, in between moments of giggling madness and stress, and manage to end the show almost on time.

Finally it’s over. I manage to speak to Chaz, then find a spare table and sit with Tricia and Genevieve watching the last of the audience dancing the night away. The week has been a complete success. We have managed to get everyone out on stage, get all of the props and costumes back to their rightful owners, met some truly fantastic people and made some even better friends. I’m totally shattered and my feet are killing me from being stood up for 4 nights.

That’s 37 hours, 85 performances, 10 musical performers and 7 hosts… But it was all worth it!

All that’s left to do is go to the wrap party and enjoy myself!

More of Miss Loula Cherry…

The London Burlesque Festival…

Images (from top)

1. Loula at the After Party, by Diane Lowe.

2. Loula’s Stage Debut as a Clock for LouLou D’Vil from Finland.

3. Loula with Keith ‘Suave’ O’Keeffe, by Mr O’Keeffe.

www.londonburlesquefest.com